So you want so but
it might feel a bit strange to you , well here is a few hints that might
get you started and improve yoor chances with the ladies of your choice.
Writing your first
letter to an Asian Penpal has some guidelines that you should observe.
Many of the girls that you may be writing to will also be writing to others.
Just as you may be writing a draft type of letter that you can try your
luck with with a few different asian ladies. Now remember this is a guide
only to writng to you penfriend. It's no guarantee that at first you will
have enormous success but you will get replies, be ahead of the competition,
and from there, well it's up to you whether you want to remain as a penfriend
or penpal or take it to the next stage and dating. Of course this requires
travel, so take your time and don't rush in. You want to know eachother
fairly well before you announce a stronger intention and promise.
1: Writing paper.
Use nice writing paper and envelope. Address it neatly, legible
and correctly by hand. Don't print it off the computer or type. It must
look personal. Clearly put your address on the back. Put the stamp on straight
and send it airmail.
A nice photo should be included in your first letter. The
photo should show you neatly dressed and should be in the fold of the letter
so it is what she looks at first. If you aren't that much to look do the
best you can in the photo. A photo is important, just as you probably didn't
look at the girls that didn't include their picture in the search areas
of the "asian penpals" search areas.
3: Length of letter.
Don't overwhelm you penfriend with too much information.
In a cheerful manner explain why you would like to write to her and that
it would be nice to be a penpal. Tell her briefly about yourself, but
not too deep. Don't tell her about a bad relationship you might of had.
If you are divorced then just say that. Don't big note yourself by exagerrating
your wealth. Of course "guilding the lily" about your outdoor
activities is quite acceptable but do not brag. A small compliment to
the lady is nice. Something like "I like the way in which you stated
your interests, it told me that you seem to have a spirit of fun".
This tells her indirectly you too have a sense of fun. Leave the "I
think you are beautiful" for later letters.
Be formal but in a fun sort of way. Have you ever watched
an asian movie? The hero has a quirk about himself. A small 'dorki' fault,
but in the end he is always 'the man'. Someone that can be depended on.
Now this can be hard to convey in a letter and I don't think you should
even try. Instead as you start your letter have this in mind. Play a CD,
a romantic one as you write. It will come through your writings. It's
like a sublimable message.
Spelling her name correctly is important. Asian names can
be a bit jumbled up to us westerners, so make sure you get it right. This
also shows sincerity. It's also the first impression she will have. One
of the nicest things a person can see or hear is their name. It's what
they have always known. So after writing to your penpal she asks you to
phone her, then be straight away up front with the pronounciation of her
name. Better still if you know another asian lady from the same country
living near you, ask her about the pronounciation of her name so you can
use it to phone her. Chances are she will not be the person who answers
the phone and so you'll have to get her name right so they can call her
to the phone.
Many asian countries have a slow postal service. Sometimes
the mail can be lost or stolen . So don't be upset with a slow or even
no reply. Write again to her, even before you receive her letter. Tell
her you still look forward to receiving a letter from her. Tell her also
a little more of yourself, like what you did last weekend. Went to the
beach, or to a movie. Keep other more involved things like work issues
away from the paper. This girl wants a chance to experience other things
in life other than some issue you might have. Keep it fun. Definitely
do not come on too strong with the "I love you" or you you'll
be facing a barrage of questions about why and how based on a photograph.
Courting is an old fashioned term in the West, however not so in the East.
It's what is expected especially if the stakes are high, as they are for
her and for you. If things go further then someone is moving from their
country, family, friends and beliefs. Usually her, and she knows that.
7:No go areas.
she doesn't want your baggage and do not ask her about hers.
Sex. It will embarass
her. In many countries in Asia the idea of the virgin bride is still strong.
Of course this isn't often the case but it is in their upbringing.
Politics and human
rights issues. Respect their laws and government. Would you like a foreigner
telling you how your country should be run.
Here Asian women are no different from any other woman.
The little things will make her believe you care and that you are thinking
of her. In the beginning a card for Xmas and her birthday is appropriate.
And as you progress in your relationship a small gift, making sure the
item you send was made in your country with the tag attatched stating
it. Sure she can buy a top much cheaper in her country than you can, but
as I stated it's the little things that count. They wont forget you if
you don't forget them. Of course all women all over the world love chocolate
and flowers so it wouldn't hurt to send her some. There are flower online
stores in most countries. Just make sure it's a secure site you are dealing
Inevetiably after a few letters there will be some conflict.
Most are caused by misunderstandings of language or custom. Therefore
be cool and don't get worked up. Learn some of her language. This will
really put you in good stead. Aim for about 20 words. Ask her to help
you. Afterall you are expecting her to communicate in your language. Show
her you care. Most men are lazy in their quest to find an asian penfriend.
It's easy for them to lose interest and not stay the full course. By showing
a caring patience and a sincerity with a bit of effort you'll be rewarded.
Not many asian women list a 'Handsome Man' in the "what they are
looking for section" of the asian penpals questionaire. Most want
honesty and security.
Let common sense prevail here. Time is a factor. If your
penpal hits you up in the first few letters then i'd advise you to be
wary. However this is your decision and if you decide what the heck, send
little, and what you can honestly feel comfortable with. You will soon
have an idea for the way she feels towards you. If a lady cares for you
she will also spend some of her money on you. This can be in a simple
card, a small gift or spending her money on a text or phone call.
Asian women are mostly gentle and kind. They have fierce
sense of loyalty and strength together with a feminine nature. Asian women
are not submissive so don't believe a stupid sterotype that some do. Dating
Asian Women through the slow process of finding the perfect girl through
Asian Penpals will change your life. It's the perfect way to meet. No
falseness, no hyped up clubs and bars where you might not fit in. Above
all when you write and then possibly meet you penpal just be yourself.
A charade is impossible to maintain.