5 minutes ago you were a lonely person, in 5 minutes time you may be having a conversation with a special person that will change everything.



So you want so but it might feel a bit strange to you , well here is a few hints that might get you started and improve yoor chances with the ladies of your choice.

Writing your first letter to an Asian Penpal has some guidelines that you should observe. Many of the girls that you may be writing to will also be writing to others. Just as you may be writing a draft type of letter that you can try your luck with with a few different asian ladies. Now remember this is a guide only to writng to you penfriend. It's no guarantee that at first you will have enormous success but you will get replies, be ahead of the competition, and from there, well it's up to you whether you want to remain as a penfriend or penpal or take it to the next stage and dating. Of course this requires travel, so take your time and don't rush in. You want to know eachother fairly well before you announce a stronger intention and promise.


1: Writing paper.

Use nice writing paper and envelope. Address it neatly, legible and correctly by hand. Don't print it off the computer or type. It must look personal. Clearly put your address on the back. Put the stamp on straight and send it airmail.

2: Photo.

A nice photo should be included in your first letter. The photo should show you neatly dressed and should be in the fold of the letter so it is what she looks at first. If you aren't that much to look do the best you can in the photo. A photo is important, just as you probably didn't look at the girls that didn't include their picture in the search areas of the "asian penpals" search areas.

3: Length of letter.

Don't overwhelm you penfriend with too much information. In a cheerful manner explain why you would like to write to her and that it would be nice to be a penpal. Tell her briefly about yourself, but not too deep. Don't tell her about a bad relationship you might of had. If you are divorced then just say that. Don't big note yourself by exagerrating your wealth. Of course "guilding the lily" about your outdoor activities is quite acceptable but do not brag. A small compliment to the lady is nice. Something like "I like the way in which you stated your interests, it told me that you seem to have a spirit of fun". This tells her indirectly you too have a sense of fun. Leave the "I think you are beautiful" for later letters.


Be formal but in a fun sort of way. Have you ever watched an asian movie? The hero has a quirk about himself. A small 'dorki' fault, but in the end he is always 'the man'. Someone that can be depended on. Now this can be hard to convey in a letter and I don't think you should even try. Instead as you start your letter have this in mind. Play a CD, a romantic one as you write. It will come through your writings. It's like a sublimable message.

5:Punctuality and Legibility.

Spelling her name correctly is important. Asian names can be a bit jumbled up to us westerners, so make sure you get it right. This also shows sincerity. It's also the first impression she will have. One of the nicest things a person can see or hear is their name. It's what they have always known. So after writing to your penpal she asks you to phone her, then be straight away up front with the pronounciation of her name. Better still if you know another asian lady from the same country living near you, ask her about the pronounciation of her name so you can use it to phone her. Chances are she will not be the person who answers the phone and so you'll have to get her name right so they can call her to the phone.


Many asian countries have a slow postal service. Sometimes the mail can be lost or stolen . So don't be upset with a slow or even no reply. Write again to her, even before you receive her letter. Tell her you still look forward to receiving a letter from her. Tell her also a little more of yourself, like what you did last weekend. Went to the beach, or to a movie. Keep other more involved things like work issues away from the paper. This girl wants a chance to experience other things in life other than some issue you might have. Keep it fun. Definitely do not come on too strong with the "I love you" or you you'll be facing a barrage of questions about why and how based on a photograph. Courting is an old fashioned term in the West, however not so in the East. It's what is expected especially if the stakes are high, as they are for her and for you. If things go further then someone is moving from their country, family, friends and beliefs. Usually her, and she knows that.

7:No go areas.

Previous relationships, she doesn't want your baggage and do not ask her about hers.

Sex. It will embarass her. In many countries in Asia the idea of the virgin bride is still strong. Of course this isn't often the case but it is in their upbringing.

Politics and human rights issues. Respect their laws and government. Would you like a foreigner telling you how your country should be run.

8: Remembrance:

Here Asian women are no different from any other woman. The little things will make her believe you care and that you are thinking of her. In the beginning a card for Xmas and her birthday is appropriate. And as you progress in your relationship a small gift, making sure the item you send was made in your country with the tag attatched stating it. Sure she can buy a top much cheaper in her country than you can, but as I stated it's the little things that count. They wont forget you if you don't forget them. Of course all women all over the world love chocolate and flowers so it wouldn't hurt to send her some. There are flower online stores in most countries. Just make sure it's a secure site you are dealing through.

9:Language Barriers.

Inevetiably after a few letters there will be some conflict. Most are caused by misunderstandings of language or custom. Therefore be cool and don't get worked up. Learn some of her language. This will really put you in good stead. Aim for about 20 words. Ask her to help you. Afterall you are expecting her to communicate in your language. Show her you care. Most men are lazy in their quest to find an asian penfriend. It's easy for them to lose interest and not stay the full course. By showing a caring patience and a sincerity with a bit of effort you'll be rewarded. Not many asian women list a 'Handsome Man' in the "what they are looking for section" of the asian penpals questionaire. Most want honesty and security.

10:Sending Money.

Let common sense prevail here. Time is a factor. If your penpal hits you up in the first few letters then i'd advise you to be wary. However this is your decision and if you decide what the heck, send little, and what you can honestly feel comfortable with. You will soon have an idea for the way she feels towards you. If a lady cares for you she will also spend some of her money on you. This can be in a simple card, a small gift or spending her money on a text or phone call.

Asian women are mostly gentle and kind. They have fierce sense of loyalty and strength together with a feminine nature. Asian women are not submissive so don't believe a stupid sterotype that some do. Dating Asian Women through the slow process of finding the perfect girl through Asian Penpals will change your life. It's the perfect way to meet. No falseness, no hyped up clubs and bars where you might not fit in. Above all when you write and then possibly meet you penpal just be yourself. A charade is impossible to maintain.

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